Cries in The Dark

I sat in the corner or my room, my gaze fixed on the blood oozing out of my wound on my wrist. So beautiful. my hand itching to taste the blood. blood drops making stains on the wooden floor. I licked my lips, starving. I heard a loud scream from the room next door. painful and frightened screams, a beautiful melody playing, peaceful and comforting. I felt my lips curving up to a smile. I held my head back erupting a laugh, a sinister laugh. where it cam from i did not know. I felt my cheeks wet, with my hand i found out that I was crying. but why? why was I crying? a huge wave of confusion hit me.

I heard a low angry growl next to me, turning my head I saw a gigantic black wolf with red shot eyes penetrating me with its gaze. without realising it, I held out my hand and burned it in to ashes. what did i just do? how did i? I looked at my hand, I whimpered in fright, trembling.

what am i?

why did i.... who am i?

i dont remember?...

- From the diry of a lonely girl.

I'm my own person

The Dark is where I find my comfort, it lets me be who I want to be. Not someone everyone wants me to. In the Dark I can be my own person, no shell to hide in and no mask to conceal anything.

I bathe myself in tears, i drown myself in fear. I like what I like and I hate what I hate. I dont have to pretend I dont have to act. here in the Dark I am free.

In reality I am a puppet, its strings constantly being pulled without a care, a puppet used to reach one's goal. I'd cry alone, only in the company of my precious dolls and the Dark. when I sleep, I would sense a presence watching me, normally people would feel uneasy but to me... It made me feel wanted and important in a way. It made me feel secure and somewhat happy.

The feeling of being alone is unbearable. although, you feel at peace you yearn for more. the sound of the wind carrying voices, laughter, happiness, sadness, hatred. emotions that it carries along. It penetrates your soul so deep and makes it impossible to heal.

for now in the eyes of other, I will hide in my shell, I will hide behind my mask and I will be a puppet. Nothing is to change and all I can do is 'Hope'