I'm my own person

The Dark is where I find my comfort, it lets me be who I want to be. Not someone everyone wants me to. In the Dark I can be my own person, no shell to hide in and no mask to conceal anything.

I bathe myself in tears, i drown myself in fear. I like what I like and I hate what I hate. I dont have to pretend I dont have to act. here in the Dark I am free.

In reality I am a puppet, its strings constantly being pulled without a care, a puppet used to reach one's goal. I'd cry alone, only in the company of my precious dolls and the Dark. when I sleep, I would sense a presence watching me, normally people would feel uneasy but to me... It made me feel wanted and important in a way. It made me feel secure and somewhat happy.

The feeling of being alone is unbearable. although, you feel at peace you yearn for more. the sound of the wind carrying voices, laughter, happiness, sadness, hatred. emotions that it carries along. It penetrates your soul so deep and makes it impossible to heal.

for now in the eyes of other, I will hide in my shell, I will hide behind my mask and I will be a puppet. Nothing is to change and all I can do is 'Hope'

The Name Marina (Origin)

Tonight, I searched the net, curious about my first name and its origin. I came across WikiName.com a site that gives histories and origin as well as facts and related names.

I found these...

Pronunciation: mah-REE-nah
Meaning: from the sea; from the god Mars
Related Names: Mareen, Mareena, Mareina, Marena, Marin, Marinda, Marine, Marinella, Marinka, Marinna, Marna, Marne, Marni, Marnie, Martina, Maryn

Origin and History;

Most sources agree that the name Marina comes from the Latin marinus and means “from the sea.” However, it may also be derived from the Roman clan name Marinus, which means “from the god Mars.”

Popularity;

he name Marina has consistently appeared on the chart of the top 1000 most popular girls’ names since 1934, though it appeared only sporadically before then. Its highest popularity was in 1994, when it ranked at number 219. In 2006, Marina ranked at number 406. The increased popularity in the 1930s is likely due to the marriage of Princess Marina of Greece and Denmark to Prince George, Duke of Kent in 1934.

Marina is popular in other countries, such as Catalonia, where it ranked 10th in 1999, France, where it ranked 77th in 1998, and Canada, where it ranked 150th in 1999.Marina is especially popular in Russia.

Marina may be used as a surname. It ranks at number 26,832 on the list of most common surnames in the United States. The highest concentration of people with this last name is in California, followed by Florida, New York and Texas.

Facts;

* Saint Marina was a Christian woman who dressed as a man to join a monastery. When she was accused of impregnating a local woman, Marina accepted the burden and raised the child alone, rather than admit her gender to the Abbot. After her death, a half-blind monk who looked upon her dead body regained sight in his eye.
* In the Catholic Church, Saint Marina is honored on June 18th. There are a number of name days dedicated to Marina in various countries, such as Russia, Greece and Latvia.
* A marina is a place to dock boats.

Famous Persons;

# Marina V.: singer/songwriter
# Marina Budhos: writer
# Marina Duvekot: actress
# Marina Frants: writer
# Marina Ratner: mathematician
# Marina Warner: writer
# Princess Marina, Duchess of Kent