I'm my own person

The Dark is where I find my comfort, it lets me be who I want to be. Not someone everyone wants me to. In the Dark I can be my own person, no shell to hide in and no mask to conceal anything.

I bathe myself in tears, i drown myself in fear. I like what I like and I hate what I hate. I dont have to pretend I dont have to act. here in the Dark I am free.

In reality I am a puppet, its strings constantly being pulled without a care, a puppet used to reach one's goal. I'd cry alone, only in the company of my precious dolls and the Dark. when I sleep, I would sense a presence watching me, normally people would feel uneasy but to me... It made me feel wanted and important in a way. It made me feel secure and somewhat happy.

The feeling of being alone is unbearable. although, you feel at peace you yearn for more. the sound of the wind carrying voices, laughter, happiness, sadness, hatred. emotions that it carries along. It penetrates your soul so deep and makes it impossible to heal.

for now in the eyes of other, I will hide in my shell, I will hide behind my mask and I will be a puppet. Nothing is to change and all I can do is 'Hope'

Unspoken Truth

Everyday, I'd look out of my window. As the people passed by, I saw their smiling faces, glowing with great happiness. I wondered, how it must have felt to be like them. If I was given a chance to once more experience happiness, I promise not to waste it.But all seems lost now. My heart turned to stone. I could care less of what 'they'think of me. "An emotionless monster..." "A murdered" there is not a day where I would not regret.

since that day. I promise myself not to trust anyone but can only rely on myself. Because all the things I treasured were already lost in a mist of sudden tragedy.

I dream of a life where I can live happily. A place where I can held my head up high without ever having to feel miserable, without any pain, no worries and no burdens.

I wished to free myself from troubles that I've caused.

but is there really hope for me out there??