what does Darkness mean to me??

HONESTLY, i don't know... all i know is that its some how pulling me in... it tells me things, things i could never imagine and another thing is that i'm afraid to turn 15. i don't the true reason. its like some big's gonna happen when i do turn 15.

I have had dreams of being chased, visions of being in another relm. does any of this really mean anything or is it just an illusion that makes me even more crazier???

people I love tells me that if I ever need anything, all I have to do is come to them. but as they say, "some are better left untold.." and thats exactly what I'm doing. Blood of all things fascinates me. I'm drawn to them. Its like how a child is attracted to toys and stuff. I mean, I couldn't just blurt it all out for all I know they could have sent me to a fcuking SHRINK!!!

I know actions are important, but some of it are just shytt... ya know??

my whole life I've been 'kept grounded'. Parents don't even help. Talking won't make much difference anyway. Life IS an obligation. Thats what I've figured oout. My own house feels like a damn prison for GOD'S SAKE!!

I cut my wrist more than I could even remember, because thats the only way i know how to escape... I write down feelings that sometimes send shivers down my spine..

Dark is the only place I can escape.